Go to bed early. Even if the days are getting longer, darkness still descends in the evening's early hours.  Embrace it.  Turn off the TV and turn down the heat.  Silence the phone, and the cell phone too.  Tune your clock radio to a classical music station.  Crawl under that big down comforter and feel the sheets change from icy cold to cozy warm.  Drift off to sleep, ready to rise early with the pale winter sun and greet whatever the next day brings.

Read a classic novel. Most any one will do: Jane Austen, Edith Wharton, the Bronte Sisters, The Great Gatsby.  the slower, more deliberate pace of faraway times suits winter's chill.  And somehow, no matter how cold it is outside, the winters centuries ago always seem colder (recall carriages traveling through snow). So bring an afghan or cozy cover and a hot pot of tea along with your book to your favorite reading chair. Dive in. 

Bake bread. (or anything to have the oven on and lovely smells throughout the house) Yes it can take all afernoon. Yes, it's a little intimidating.  But what a way to pass a long, cold Sunday.  Hunker down and prepare to follow the directions carefully, what with getting the yeast temperature just right, and kneading the dough just so.  Try a traditional recipe that requires your hands; or just use the one that came with your electric mixer.  The magic moment when you peek into your mixing bowl to find that the hard fist of flour and water has bloomed into an air-filled pufff of almost-bread will be no less sweet. And the moment when it emerges fromt he oven a few hours later will be even better.

Write something.  No, not on the computer. Grab one of those dozens of blank journals at home or for sale in any bookstore, or maybe creamy white sheets of heavy bond paper.  Use a nice pen - black ink, please.  Write a letter to your college best friend. Write down something funny you saw on your way to work today.  Write a poem, rhyming not required.  You may be surprised at what flows from your pen.  Life is sometimes more interesting when committed to paper. 

Take comfort in friends. You just sent them a holiday card, but wouldn't getting together be much nicer? Call some of them Saturday morning. Invite them to dinner. Not a fancy holiday dinner with place cards and egg nog. Just some meat or vegetables that can cook almost all day long. Sweet potato soup or short ribs falling off the bone. Make a centerpiece of pine cones and branches from the now wilting Christmas tree.  Put away the Christams Carols and play some jazz. Drink an inexpensive shiraz. Toast to the spring that is to come.

• I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basics:
  
  How much do you weigh?" she asks. "115," I say.
  The nurse puts me on the scale. She says my weight is 140.
  
  The nurse asks, "Your height?" "5 foot 8," I say.
  The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5' 5".
  
  She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.
  "Of course it's high!" I scream, "When I came in here I was tall  and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"
  
         She put me on Prozac.

I am reading the book recommended by my internet friend Ann. ( I have two internet friends who I  count among my best friends , Ann and Warm.) The book is The Language of Letting Go. I have learned that it doesn't have to be January 1st to start a new year and the subsequent resolutions: anyday is a new  beginning. That writing down goals is very powerful. I would like to lose weight - 55 lbs!! There.  Day 2:  It talked about setting boundaries and I could see this how it applies to my Calli but it took a bit of doing to see how I need to apply that to myself.  Learn to say NO to others and not feel guilt - that would be good - then there might be some moments just to relax and connect with family. Turn off the TV at 10:00 pm so I am ready for the next day. Always have  a book with me so that waiting times are useful times and I don't look longingly at the stacks by the bed. (New List)  Boundaries are limits - self-discipline, ridding ourselves of those bad habits that we have gotten so used to we almost don't know we have them. I think that is what day 2 means.  It is a Library book so perhaps I will need to read 3 or 4 days at a time. Garry says if I like the book; he will get it for me as a gift.

Today Calli has asked if she can come home - we are going to need help with that - I am scared that life at home is just easier than the youth shelter, it isn't about coming home to us and our family - I think she just wants her room, cell phone, MSN,  and a considerably better curfew. With priviledge comes rules.She doesn't seem to like that part and is thinking of getting her own place but then apparently with her dad,of course, she ends up in tears and wants to come home really.

Catherine is off for a camp for two days as part of Outdoor Education Week -they are going to Somewhere, Saskatchewan and she needs some things packed so I will do that with her now. She is so worried about being sick and not going she is not sleeping and making herself sick. My baby! So Dreamland tea and a backrub tonight and perhaps a little of Treasure Island.